9-24-98 Katie Bain: “They were pumping and grinding to it at my prom.”
Cara Bierwagen: “Like you were in our room last night?”
Katie: “But hopefully you weren’t looking at me lustfully.”
10-9-98 Dr. Danek: “When you know the answer raise your hand.”
Mark Miller: “Jesus is the answer!”
10-31-98 “What’s your favorite kind of car? And don’t say ‘blue’ because that’s such a girl thing!” –Bryan Holmes
11-2-98 “We were lost and this guy came up to us. he looked like Jesus! And then he said, ‘Follow me!’ and I asked him ‘Are you Jesus?’ and he said, ‘No, but I know him.’” –Rebecka Mercier
11-5-98 (a noise comes through the wall)
Amy: “There’s a train.”
Ricky Frith: “We live on an island. We’re surrounded by water.”
Amy: “It’s a boat.”
Ricky: “A boat with a train on it?”
Amy: “Yeah!”
11-6-98 “Christel Schulz? Your name is ‘Christ el Schulz in Spanish.” –Ricky Frith
11-6-98 Shelly Lundgren: “Didn’t I just see you?”
Michelle Olson: “I have a sister.”
Shelly: “What’s her name?”
Michelle: “Andrea…Olson.”
Shelly: “Orchestra?” (she was asking if she could have seen andrea in orchestra)
Michelle: “OLSON.”
11-9-98 Shelly Lundgren: “I’m gonna have a daughter and name her ‘Machilanona Gahugaboog.”
Kristin Fjordbak: “And your husband’s last name will be Jones.”
11-9-98 “This may sound morbid, but if you found someone that was dead and they were naked, would you dress them before you called the police?” –Nate Addink
11-10-98 “I was going 136 mph and I hit a deer and it lost its legs. All of its legs.” –Bryan Holmes
11-12-98 Miss Heggen: “Some guys are too excited about our Women’s Chorale. Like Hans.”
Maria Wilson: “I would too with a name like Hans! (pronounced like ‘hands’).”
11-16-98 “They could use non-perishable items like rice and bananas….um, beans, I mean beans.” –Dean Paulson
11-30-98 “I could call on people…if I say ‘Sarah’ several of you will raise your hands…” –Mr. Mugglin
12-2-98 “They dressed up like Indians and went on the ships and dumped the tea into the harbor…thus creating the world’s largest iced tea…quite salty though.” –Dr. Charles Aling
12-4-98 Karin: “In Spanish, ‘Father Abraham’ goes ‘Father Abraham/ had 2 sons/ They didn’t eat/ They didn’t drink/ Because they were in a bad mood.’”
Nate Addink: “And then they sing ‘I am one of them, and so are you…’”
12-4-98 Karin: “Don’t go to sleep! Tell me stories!”
Kristy Goskesen: “Mr. Giraffe (stuffed animal) can tell you stories. He can tell you stories about the fields in
12-5-98 “I get a crack out of that! (she meant ‘kick’)” –Shelly Lundgren
12-5-98 Shelly Lundgren: “You sounded so different…I thought it was someone else…I thought someone might have pranked me.”
Dave Maki: “YOU called ME!”
12-5-98 “Why would my not understanding something infer that I am gay?” –Chris Jannings
12-10-98 “What happened with Matt Placenta (it’s Pacyga)?” –Julie Ahring
12-11-98 “I’m on more committees than a dog has fleas.” –Dr. Charles Aling
12-11-98 (Mr. Mugglin is taking a long time to get to College Algebra class today)
“What if he’s sick? That would be cool…no…not if he’s sick…I mean, what if he had to go grocery shopping?” –Erin Kaskubar
12-11-98 “Oh no! Did I just get ketchup on my crotch? Oh no! Did I just say crotch?” –Travis DePue
12-13-98 “I hate having to put panty hose back on. They’re never on quite the same as the first time. And then you have to walk around with the crotch around your knees.” –Kristy Goskesen
12-13-98 “What would you do if all your toenails fell off and started dancing for you? Would you dance with them? Or pick them up and put them in your pockets?” –Kristy Goskesen
12-17-98 “Louis XVIII was so fat they had to help him get on his horse…Napoleon comes back to power as emperor and--Louis XVIII--they pushed him up on his horse and he got out of there.” –Dr. Aling
12-17-98 “That won’t be good! What if I die on my way home? I won’t even have the cell phone!” –Miranda Johnson
1-5-99 “Crime was so bad in
1-6-99 “He’d be cute if he wasn’t wearing a dress.” –Jennifer Miller
1-10-99 “I was in one of those moods where I didn’t want to hear vegetables talk to me.” –Miranda Johnson
1-19-99 “Sometimes ‘carpe diem’ is tiring. We’re tired and we need to ‘carpe sleep’.” –Robin Heggen
1-20-99 (talking about people in the jungle)
“They don’t understand Dick and Jane and Spot…so their book reads ‘See the big alligator. See the python snake. Run, run, run.” –Marilyn Laszlow
1-21-99 “Civilize the natives…they eat each other for lunch…we’ve got to stop that.” –Dr. Charles Aling
1-22-99 “We had to read through these [Psalms] so fast I got manic depressive.” –Shilo Stiegen
1-27-99 (in college algebra class) “Imaginary numbers? The real numbers are hard enough!” –Erin Kaskubar
1-24-99 (talking about how he had asked Lindsay out) “I asked her ‘wilt thou?’ and she wilted.” –Mark Miller
1-31-99 “Hey Shelly. I had this dream and I want to fulfill it, so will you help me?” –Mark Miller
2-1-99 “No cost, and it’s free! Oh, I guess that’s the same thing…” –Corey Mitchell
2-1-99 “They’re just comfy, walk around the house kind of shoes…if you have a house.” –Shelly Lundgren
2-1-99 Miranda Johnson: “Kristy, if I was a boy, would you marry me?”
Kristy Goskesen: “No, I like my men black like my coffee.”
2-2-99 “Our economy. Bill Clinton gets the credit for that. He doesn’t deserve it. He didn’t do anything. He did as much as a squirrel out on the street.” –Dr. Charles Aling
2-3-99 “I’m sure math represents the incapability to solve the enigma of God…” –Erin Kaskubar
2-3-99 “Things are growing gay, growing gay, (he slaps himself) GOING GREAT!” –Dr. Daryl Aaron
2-4-99 “Hitler’s family tree had no branches on it.” –Dr. Aling
2-5-99 “We’ll take care of licking [the envelope] and stamping it…so you can save yourself a calorie.” –Jason Pucker
2-6-99 “Here’s a Chinese song called Tu-Ning.” –Jon Visser
2-6-99 (he says to a group of college students) “I need someone who doesn’t have a pacemaker to volunteer.” –Shilo Stiegen
2-7-99 “He threw a snowball and it hit a mouse and killed it!” –Josh Korus
2-11-99 Karin: “Miss Heggen, I’m gonna have guests in choir today.”
Miss Heggen: “Why, because of the bean soup?” (they’re serving bean soup in the cafeteria today)
Karin: “What?!”
Miss Heggen: “Didn’t you say you’re gonna have gas?”
2-13-99 Karin: “Girls, we’re on our last roll of toilet paper.”
Kristy Goskesen: “Good thing we have paper bags.”
2-15-99 “If you’re not having fun committing the sins you’re committing, then you’re committing the wrong ones!” –Bart Compolo
2-18-99 Miss Heggen: “Hey Dayton—who did your hair today?”
Miss Heggen: “Do you give yourself a weekly allowance for gel?”
2-22-99 “My life revolves around dinks.” –Kristy Goskesen
2-22-99 “I’m not just kind of out of it…I couldn’t get back into it if I had a pass…”-Kristy Goskesen
2-23-99 “You know those Paraguay Bible versions? I don’t like them…they don’t have quite the exact meaning as the Greek…oh sorry, that’s ‘paraphrase.’” –Eric Price
2-23-99 “You know how they got your (Eric Price) last name? They were on the slave market and the guy asked ‘What price will you give me for that one?’” –Nathan Snodgrass
2-26-99 “Jackie Chan is the stunt-man that does his own acting.” –Ben Dolfin
3-8-99 “Death is God’s way of telling us to slow down.” –Dr. Lunak
3-10-99 “I didn’t say ‘Simon says!’ You’re out Leonard!” –six-year-old boy talking to himself at Target.
3-19-99 “Pocahontas is my idol. When I grow up I’m gonna wear a leather dress with one strap.” –Jill Wohlgemuth
3-19-99 Shelly Lundgren: “That’s our old trash. This is our new trash.”
Nate Addink: “You date your trash?”
Shelly: “Yeah. It’s the only date I can get.”
3-19-99 “I’m not judging her. I just think she’s stupid.” –Becca Griffith
3-19-99 “I’m gonna go stand next to Andy because he’s more embarrasing than me.” –Erin Kaskubar
3-19-99 Karin: “Dan looks more like Erin than Andy does.”
Ryan Nagle: “I look more like Andy than Andy does.”
3-20-99 (Michelle talks about her visits to the chiropractor)
“It’s snap, crackle, pop, and I’m outta there.” –Michelle Forster
3-27-99 (Kenny is telling us about his new group of friends at UPS. He meant to say that they are a close group and very “tight knit.”)
“Yeah, we’re a real tit night group.” –Kenny Bristol
3-31-99 (about The Good Samaritan)
“Why don’t they call it ‘The Story of the Two Bad Jews’?” –Dr. Lunak
4-6-99 “This was not just a matter of circumcision…that was just a slice of it.” –Dr. Daryl Aaron
4-9-99 “We should get together this weekend and beat lettuce.” –Bill Martinez
4-19-99 “There’s nothing fun about running except for stopping.” –Dr. Wade Wahl
4-20-99 Missy Krauel: “Yeah, they were apart of the church-coat gang.”
Tasha Ellis: “That’s TRENCH-coat gang!”
4-26-99 Maria Wilson: “Her name is really Karen.”
Karin: “No! Come on, blonde hair, blue eyes, Norwegian…Karin!”
Maria: “Ethnicity has nothing to do with it. I’m African American and my name’s not Shaniqua!”
4-27-99 “How about naming your kid Polly Esther? I got that from Dr. Easterling. He was gonna name his daughter Polly Esther Easterling…so then she’d be Polly Esther and have the initials PEE.” –Angie Arthur (aka Ritis)
4-30-99 (the 2nd band is playing)
Kristy Goskesen: “I think 12-inch journey was better than this group!”
Karin: “Kristy, it’s 18-inch journey.”
Kristy: “Oh, the first time I called them four-inch journey. The journey just keeps getting longer and longer.”
5-10-99 “Andy doesn’t like spicey Mexican food, so Percy is my Chinese or Mexican friend.” –Ryan Nagle
5-10-99 “Where’s Sinead O’Connor from?” –Betsy Fetter
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