Day One, Minneapolis & San Diego
1. "He was just complaining about how he didn't have any food and then he
starts pulling out all these bags of food. 'Oh, I forgot I had a
watermelon!
Rice! A full chicken!'" -Seth Doran talking about Matthew Haase's food
stash.
2. Karin: "I bet we'll get lunch on the plane."
Burns (Jon Foster): "Yah, it's not so bad...get the Kosher meal."
Karin: "There's a kosher meal?"
Burns: "Yah! Jews fly too!"
3. Heidi Sogge: "Karin, you are such a wordsman!"
Mr. Sawyer: "Did you say turdsmith?"
4. "Since my room isn't ready yet I'm in a big hurry to get off the bus and
go wait in the lobby!" -Josh Swedberg
5. A woman is on the Rosie O'Donell show talking about how a plane crashed
into her car and all about the accident. Christel missed the "crashed into
by a plane" part....
"What?! She was in an accident in Florida and all of a sudden she's on
'Rosie'?" -Christel Schulz
6. (talking about standing in a doorway)
"In Minnesota it's either in or out. Here in California you can be both in
AND out!" -Brent Deim
7. At the Mexican restaurant Karin replies when asked if she was feeling
less inebriated, "I thought you were asking if I was gassy."
8. Mariachi band member asks Joel Johnson, "Te gustas escuchar?"
Joel: "Um....English?"
9. Mariachi band member after singing happy birthday: "How old are you
today?"
Joel Johnson: "Twenty."
Band member: "Oh, I thought fifteen or sixteen."
10. "I know this is a puppet, but I can't find the hole!" (while trying to
find the hole in a duck puppet) -Brent Deim
11. (waiting for the capsule in the water to turn into a sponge animal)
someone: "Be patient Joel!"
Joel Johnson: "I'm an American. I want it now!"
12. (the four girls gather around Brent, walking down the street)
"AAAHH! People will think I'm Mormon!" -Brent Deim
13. Courtney Glenny: "Those are huge pansies!"
Karin: "You're a huge pansie!" (not proud of that one)
14. (the guys are taking forever looking at the little toys in the toy
store)
"Why are they keeping the store open? They'll only spend two dollars!"
-Courtney Glenny
15. (commenting on Karin's list of names for Brent Deim's future children,
i.e. "Rich Deim")
"I'm thinking you should never write a baby name book." -Laura Tanberg
16. "Holy cow! I don't know much about feminine products, but there's a
whole lot of tampons in that bag!" -Ricky Frith
17. (while watching tigers mate on television)
"Tiger sex rules!" -Burns
18. "I want to go in that soap shop. When we walked by it before it smelled
so good...or maybe I was walking next to Brent." -Karin
Day Two, San Diego & Escondido
19. "Does anyone know the gestation period for a cat?" -Matt Jackson
20. "They have Deja Vu Showgirls here too? I should transfer." -Marie
Hansen
on one bus.
meanwhile, on the other bus...
21. Alicia Sawyer: "Look, there's a Big & Tall man's store if you need a
boyfriend."
Brent Deim: "Look, there's a Deja Vu Showgirls if you need a job."
22. "Do you have Saturday every pizza?" -Elizabeth Hunnicutt
23. Maria Wilson: "I want to live in a house by the ocean. That would be fun."
Josh Swedberg: "Yah, I hear they're cheap because no one else does."
24. (it's time to get off the bus)
Laura T.: "Chop chop!"
Noelle Ruby: "Chop chop like steak!"
Erin Miller: "Move like steak?"
25. "It's raining, girls get out your shampoo." -Noelle Ruby
26. (talking about the old lady that hosted us)
"I think she felt bad that she couldn't figure out how to set the
alarm...When I'm old there wil probably be flying cars and I won't know how
to do that." -Christel Schulz
Day Three, La Jolla
27. (Tahran is balancing her Bible on her head)
"The Word keeps you stable." -Tahran Helmberger
28. "It's good to see all your faces this morning, except for Chris
Taylor's, cuz he isn't smiling." -Ricky Frith
29. Laura Tanberg: "Cinderella Carriage Company."
Courtney Glenny: "I love her! She loses her shoe...I always lose things."
30. Heidi Sogge: "Where's Brandon?"
Ricky Frith: "In the bathroom."
Heidi: "What's he doing in there?"
Ricky: "I'll give you more than one shot at it."
Heidi: "I hope he doesn't take more than one shot at it!"
31. Erin Miller: "Look at this (stuffed dog)!"
Courtney Glenny: "Oh, I want to sleep with him!"
Laura Tanberg: "I want to sleep with a man."
Karin: "But you don't have to be married to sleep with a dog."
Courtney: "You don't have to have a relationship. You can just sleep with
him."
32. "They'll understand all our luggage. They'll probably send their maids
to pick us up. 'You can hang out with our servants for the evening.'"
-Heidi
Sogge
33. "Are you guys pumped for our homestays tonight? These people live in
million dollar homes...I bet they're really nice too--that's all I really
care about." -Karin
34. Karin: "This church has a 90,000 dollar music budget."
Krista Stocks: "They must not make any photo copies."
Day Four, San Diego
35. (after the first church service a church member spots Josh in his choir
robe walking on the stairs)
man: "You're awesome!"
Josh Swedberg: "You're awesome too!"
36. Brian Phillips: "Karin, have you seen Mr. Sawyer?"
Karin: "Um, actually no. I just came from the ladies dressing room."
Brian: "And he wasn't in there? Why not?"
37. "I put on Hawaiian Tropics protective tanning lotion. The closest I'm
getting to 'burned' is Jon Foster." -Karin
38. Brandon Wind: "I hope this Sprite helps my breath taste better cause
all
I can taste is ribs."
Karin: "Well, actually I have mints."
Brandon: "Well, look, I have the same mints!"
Liz Perry: "Actually, they're mine. Stop trying to pick up girls with MY
mints!"
39. (while looking at the seals on the beach)
"I wish I could see one give birth." -Ryan Lang
40. (our guys are on the beach in their shorts)
girls: "They're gonna burn!"
Karin: "Those girls are talking about those guys like they're gonna go to
Hell."
41. Amelia Eskelson: "Hey, what did you do?"
Brandon Wind: "Went to the beach. Hit on some birds."
42. Mr. Sawyer: "[The church organist] left the organ unlocked for you. He
said you're welcome."
Sean Hallowell: "What if I never said please?"
43. "All a woman needs is sun, chocolate, and a man." -Deb Colman
44. (Carsten drops his water bottle)
Mr. Sawyer: "Was that your folder or your head?"
Carsten Christensen: "Butter hands."
45. (to sopranos)
"You're too young for hot flashes...I don't know what's going on over
there." -Mr. Sawyer
46. "It's not 'lard', it's 'Lord'." -Mr. Sawyer
47. (about basses)
"It's like, was that a low note or was someone just moving a piece of
furniture?" -Mr. Sawyer
48. (Kevin Wind looks at the stained glass windows)
"Hey look! It's Jesus as the sower and the reaper. There's Jesus saying,
'Hey, let's go hang out with those guys.'" -Kevin
49. Jen Miller: "How does a plane crash into your car?"
Brian Phillips: "It must've run a stop light."
50. Karin: "What color are my eyes. I can't tell (with sarcasm)."
Brian Phillips: "Yah, everything's clear from here."
51. Brandon Wind: "Jennifer Miller is naughty!"
Heidi Sogge: "That's not news. We've always known that."
52. With complete seriousness Sussanah Reinke asks Maria Wilson, "Are you
really from Jamaica?"
Day Five, Sun City West & Pheonix
53. Grandpa from the "Princess Bride": "She shut herself in and for days
she
could neither sleep nor eat."
Kevin Wind: "But she sure did drink!"
54. Jennifer Miller: "I love going to movies alone!"
Tyler Thorne: "I like going to restaurants alone too."
Burns: "I like drinking alone."
55. Karin: "How old is Sam?"
Betsy: "I know but I can't tell you....okay fine. He's 37."
56. in response to the question "If you could be any group or artist who
would you be and why?"
Josh Swedberg: "Boyz II Men." Elizabeth
Hunnicutt: "You could be Boy II Man."
Day Six, Paradise Valley
57. "Sunflower seeds. I don't ever want to see them on my floor. It gives
me
schoolbus flashbacks. It's like Nam." -EJ
58. "It's like Noah's Ark. Be like the animals...two by two." -Mr. Sawyer
59. Mr. Sawyer: "Can you hear the cello?"
Tyler Thorne: "Yes. It's lustrous."
60. Old man Pickering: "English writing majors tend to be intellectuals."
Jen Miller: "Yah, so do piano majors."
61. Elizabeth Hunnicutt: "Maria, your nylons are navy."
Maria Wilson: "Yah, people will say, 'She's in navy, but she's black so
it's okay."
62. "I thought, 'where is Seth?' He must be 'riding the chariot,' and then
I found out he was in the bathroom. He really was riding the chariot!" -Mr.
Sawyer
Day Seven, Albuquerque
63. (referring to the bathroom on the bus)
"It's hard to pee in there because of the mountains." -Carsten Christensen
64. "Six bucks for a frickin' ham sandwhich and a glass of water!" -Melissa
Swigart
65. "This song has 240 notes in it with half a person singing half a note
at a time." -Matt Selvig
66. Maria Wilson: "I love your laugh!
Karin: "Don't we all!"
Melissa Swigart: "The goat trills come naturally to me. Linaaaaa."
67. (watching a healing service on TV)
Karin: "I don't know what to think of those."
Melissa Swigart: "Yah, do they really have to fall over?"
Day Eight, Pueblo
68. "They're gonna empty those tonight. The buses are going to take a dump."
-Mr. Sawyer
69. "Sometimes I cry when I wake up and look in the mirror and I am
gorgeous
and haven't done anything yet." -Josh Swedberg
70. (Talking about choir shirts)
"I have an extra large. I drown in it. It does nothing for my figure."
-Sussanah Reinke
71. Tyler Emmert is examining the 3 chicken breasts on his plate and asks,
"Which breasts are the biggest?"
Sussanah Reinke, wih no chicken on her plate, replies, "Actually, mine are."
72. (at Cathedral of St. Therese)
Sister Sheila: "Next we'll have a drawing for a free CD."
Kevin Wind: "Then after that is transubstantiation where we'll turn bread
into Jesus' body."
Day Nine, Colorado Springs
73. "My cheeks are so rosey that when I was in elementary school kids would
tease me and say 'Ben wears blush!'" -Ben Hagenbuch
74. Joel Johson, who is always sporting Abercrombie & Fitch clothing
comments on the clothes at the Air Force academy, "I don't know about all
these Air Force clothes."
Ben Hagenbuch: "Well, it has an A & F on it, doesn't it?"
75. "Go into the doors under the green awning, and go straight until you
see
Jesus. After you see Jesus, take a right." -Matt Selvig
76. "I want you to leave your robes on [for the dessert reception].
However, please be careful not to take any dessert home with you, on your robes. Thighs are okay. Not robes." -Mr. Sawyer
77. "When I get home I'm going to eat pizza three nights in a row and I'm
not going to eat sandwhiches for three weeks." -Ryan Uttech
78. Sussanah Reinke: "How old are you?"
Tyler Thorne: "twenty-one."
Sussanah: "Twenty-one? How did you get that old anyway?"
79. Andrea Junkert: "Maria! You're naughty! I'm gonna spank you cuz you're
naughty!"
Maria Wilson: "Spank me like you did my ancestors!"
80. Heidi Sogge: "You all need to pray for me tonight because I'm staying
with a Mormon."
Sussanah Reinke: "Jenn, aren't you Mormon?"
Jenn Miller: "No, I'm Menonite! That's nothing like Mormon!"
Sussanah: "Well, they start with the same letter."
Andrea Junkert: "Well, Jesus and Jennifer start with the same letter and
they're not to be mixed up!"
Day 10, Fort Morgan
81. "I'm wearing really strong sunblock. It's 58 FPH." -Kevin Wind
82. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it....except homosexuality." -Burns
83. "I'm a bad influence on the altos....because I'm black." -Maria Wilson
Day 11, Fort Morgan, Denver, & Minneapolis
84. "In the absence of wine and beer, Diet Coke is the only thing really
worth living for." -Mr. Sawyer
85. Mr. Sawyer: "EJ, do you like Diet Coke?"
EJ: "I know some fat women."
86. Mr. Sawyer: "Everyone check the web sights on the backs of your seats."
Matt Selvig: "At www.backofyourseat.com."
87. "Thanks to all the steam crew for doing JACK and doing it really well."
-Matt Selvig
88. Ryan Uttech: "What did they just say?"
Karin: "Put all your electronic devices away."
Jason Olson: "Like your book."
89. Jen Miller: "That would suck if we crashed."
Jason Olson: "Yah, that would hurt."
90. "I don't know where Ricky was. He told me to bring up the rear. I said
I like the rear." -Matt Selvig
91. "Oh, I'm so glad we're back in Minnesota! Oh, there's snow on the
ground! I'm pissed!" -Amelia Eskelson
92. Christel Schulz: "Wanna go to Subway?"
Sam Kneiszler: "You guys are gonna go eat sandwiches together?!!"
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